How often do you cry?

I don't know exactly what happened to me as a child or while growing up but for some reason I cant seem to really cry when I'm supposed to. I can be in one of the saddest situations with a group of people or experiencing great joy or anger and cant seem to cry..I cant stand the idea of crying in front of people..I know its a self-conscience thing that is linked to my ego and pride but I really do wish I wouldn't care what people would say and just cry...I want to cry..and all these held in tears and emotions are causing me to tear up when I'm alone...I cant go one time to the restroom to "tinkle" and not shed at least one tear..I cant be watching a Disney movie in my room or during one of the times I go by myself to the movies and not tear up or choke when someone dies or is happy with bliss...but even then I feel dumb for wanting to cry and stop as soon as possible.....I dont want to be seen weak and vulnerable....but isnt that what women are supposed to be....I just dont get it....I almost cried today as I saw a bird putting together a nest outside a window at school....it was so pure and real...makes me want to laugh now thinking of it...